Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
