I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
