I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize