if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
