She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i need some magic done to my vagina
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
