I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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