I am in a vortex of obligation.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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