Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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