So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
4 words: hood of his car
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
