your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
