ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
