remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize