We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, beer. Big fan.
Randomize
