When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My cat gives me a boner
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
