I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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