I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
