Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
