arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
