Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
