The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
