If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize