Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
