drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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