whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
