the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
