All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
