The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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