We're facebook friends in real life
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
