Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
