remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
