I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
