2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
