I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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