i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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