I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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