Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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