The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
