You work out of a Hotel?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just found a bag of teeth...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
