I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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