Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?