he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
