nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.