I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
