Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I want is dick and wine.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
