it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
