Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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