I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
