A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
