I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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