My friends, they love my intelligence
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Alive.
So much puke
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
