OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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