Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
