Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
