Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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