Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
