I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize