We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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