I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
