Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
