At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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