I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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