I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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