I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
