You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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