i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
