i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
